sometimes everything breaks at once. that's the way it's been at work recently; inevitably, the moment you really want to use everything you've got, it's flaws become apparent. we've never taxed our shit quite like this, and it's always a bit disheartening when it doesn't quite stand up.
all of that work-related heartbreak got me feeling really tense, like i have a knot right in the middle of my chest. now, the knot's a new feeling to me, and new bad feelings are typically scary, so i consulted a couple of friends. "yeah, that'll happen." they all tell me, like this was something to be expected, and as though it were miraculous that i'd never felt this way until now.
which got me thinking: why haven't i felt this way until now? my brother calls it the pain of being human. in what way am i more "human" now than i used to be? what's effecting the transition? the positive side benefit is that these feelings create in me a greater sense of empathy for my fellow people, which is probably useful in a time of such generally low empathy.

when you always make promises or resolutions that you can't keep, does that mean that you're a bad person, a failure? or might it mean that you should just stop making promises? or stop resolving. it's a good thing that new year's is so far off, so we don't have to really think about any of that right now. just keep 'er in the back of your mind.

latiflearned.com is pretty nice.