De Facto Dating
Being single is a bit of a wash, if you're not the dating type. Say, for example, you meet somebody at a party who is interesting to you, and seems to be interested in you as well. Naturally, you want to do is get to know them better. You have no idea, from your initial reaction, whether or not they want to get you into bed or whatever, but you'd like to hang out beyond the party. You exchange numbers or emails, because that's the only way you're ever going to get in contact again beyond the confines of this party.
So there you are, person not interested in dating, and you've scored somebody's number. This is the rub: you can't not go on a date with this person. Oh, you'll say that you just want to hang out, have a beer, or some coffee, maybe go to a movie, maybe walk around Jamaica Pond. These are things that people do for fun, you tell yourself. But they're not things people do for fun with strangers. They're things that people do on dates with strangers. You're dating. There's nothing you can do to help it, except never try to contact anybody of your own free will again.
Well, maybe there is a way around it. You could do some seriously mundane things, just to get some chatting done. Like, nobody's going to mistake going and getting groceries for a date. Or, like, doing bike maintenance. Or perhaps shopping for new socks. You know? I think the next time I meet somebody interesting, I'm going to see if they want to go sock shopping with me. That oughta clear up their motives nice and quick.
Latiflearned.com - In case you haven't figured this out, I am Latif Learned. Go listen to my tunes! Purchase my album!
4 comments:
you could also invite them to go to the dentist with you.... i'm perdy sure no one would consider that a date, but what do i know?
annnnnnnnnnywhoozlebees.
So i went to the dentist with Dreamboat Donald. It was so amazing! He got a molar removed, but he was sooooooo strong, he didn't even complain once. Wow! He's, like, so down to earth, you know?
i mean, i just think that his willingness to be open to new experiences (and new dentists) show that he is a sensitive man-of-the-world. his dentist was this big gay man, and donald didn't even flinch at having his mouth open for so long in front of the guy. *sigh* he just really isn't into that gay-straight dichotomy thing, not the type to *otherize* people.
Then we went to the pound to kick puppies, and I was like, "I'm in heaven. There is nobody else for me." You know, everyone thinks puppies are just the sweetest things ever. but they're just really a symbol of upper middle class white excess -- people showing off how much money they have by buying the latest teeny tiny puppy-of-the-moment. it's so paris hilton. and donald really showed me that you don't have to, you know, participate in that sort of falsity.
i could totally see us moving to mexico and eating granola and making babies together....
PS Thanks to Osama for helping me entertain my fantasy dentist date.
that was a good funny day.
Post a Comment